A Poem

I wrote this late last night, too many thoughts in my head. I don’t know if it’s very good, but if you have feedback please let me know (I’m all for constructive criticism) 🙂

Black Veil

On the brightest of days, it waits

Like a predator, eyeing off its prey

It sits

Out of sight, camouflaged

A black mist, particles threatening to coalesce

Swirling, lazy but determined

The mist thickens, blocking out the sun

A veil of darkness encases the world in black

I breathe

But for how long?

My limbs are heavy, the darkness drags

I am nothing, I am no-one

Out of the darkness a rope of light falls

I grab it and hold on

It pulls me up out of the veil

And into the light.

Again, the black veil waits.

Steff xx

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5 comments

  1. Vicki Trunks · May 23

    Beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

  2. RamblingLisa · May 23

    Oh, I love this! It is very deep. I do most of my writing when I’m in bed and my brain won’t shut up. I wrote a piece, that both my husband and daughter thought was about suicide, not that long ago but it was about struggles and ended with contentment. They rarely read what I write but hubby called it odd and daughter said to me how given it didn’t it didn’t rhyme it couldn’t be called poetry. I see her point but it is about what is in your heart, your soul. If it gets your feelings/thoughts on paper and out of your head then that’s what matters. These are the poems that I don’t edit.
    Stick with it I think this is amazing x

    Liked by 1 person

    • littlebookynook · May 24

      Thank you so much! Yeah I often think about the whole rhyming thing, but I agree with you that it’s more about what is in your heart and soul. Thank you so much reading my poem 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so beautiful. The evocative tone of your literary language really carries through the entire poem. Reading it, I could literally FEEL “the heaviness” of my limbs and sense the dragging on of time underneath the “dark veil”. I encourage you to write and post more poems soon! They are so enjoyable and the imagery is extremely appealing and elaborately descriptive!

    Liked by 1 person

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