FYI: My blog is now a HP/JKR free zone

I have made my thoughts about the Harry Potter series and it’s author pretty well known over the last year or so. For those who aren’t aware, I have grown disenchanted with the HP series and JK Rowling. JKR continues to be everything I hate about white feminists, with her liking tweets that are transphobic, approving someone who was abusive towards his partner as a character in the Fantastic Beasts movies, continually adding “facts” about characters that were never even alluded to in the HP series so she can seem like she is giving rep to minorities and generally just talking shit and not backing up her “convictions”.

I have had time to think about this and I have made the decision to make my blog a Harry Potter/JK Rowling free-zone. I will no longer be discussing anything to do with HP or JKR, as I just find that when I do I feel sad, annoyed and angry. I also feel that these books don’t require my promotion as they are already massive and have such a big following already.

If you wish to unfollow me because of this then I respect your decision. I understand that there are people who don’t like it when people don’t feel the same way as them when it comes to their favourites. Your blog is your space, so I don’t hold it against you.

I still love the HP series and will still read books 1-7. They will always, always hold a special place in my heart. I just won’t making space on my blog for them anymore.

Steff xx

 

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6 Things I Hate About How Women Characters Are Written

I love women. We are strong, independent, beautiful and fierce creatures, and I have so much joy reading fictional and non-fictional stories about us. I don’t mean to favourite women, but we are complex and have many layers, and I therefore find women to be more interesting characters. Women are also generally expected to be a certain way – like playing the role of wife or mother, that when there are women characters that are the complete opposite, I am going to be super-fucking-excited about it.

Where my excitement generally turns sour, is when the woman has been written by someone who has a particular “view” on how women act, or should act. I have therefore written a little list of annoying things that authors do to women characters, with the headings named after 90’s song hits.

1. You Oughta Know

Something that really gets me seething is when every woman character in a book is only ever snappy or severe. I have noticed this a lot in the older fantasy novels or novels written by men, and it seems that there is this perception that this is the only way women know how to be. Look, women get snappy if you are being a dickhead or saying something ridiculous. Stop making us look like we have PMS 24/7!!

2. I Want It That Way

Because, you know, we can’t make decisions or lead people. I have seen female characters like this SO MANY TIMES. Women have been told for centuries that they can’t lead because they use their emotions over logic. And because some of us bleed once a month, that also causes us to make super terrible decisions because our hormones take over our brains. So, reading MANY stories where the female characters are either terrible leaders or team mates, makes me think that there are many people (*coughs* men) out there who are still of this old, outdated opinion.

3. Candle In The Wind

Ah yes, I am sure we have all read books where there are the girls who are doe-eyed, big-breasted, perfect hourglass figured, beautiful-without-knowing-it and quirky-but-not-too-quirky. Don’t forget the pale white skin (because women can’t be any other colour, HEAVEN FORBID!!) and hair must be perfect – unless you are reading about a quirky character, who’s hair is usually dishevelled.

4. I’ll Make Love To You

It’s amazing how every sex scene I have ever read, the woman orgasms. EVEN ON THEIR FIRST TIME!!! No awkwardness for these gals, they just jump on and ride it out like they are pro-surfers. I’m sure this is every guy and girls dream…alas, I think that many, many women could probably say that they cannot relate to our lucky female characters. It’s a NICE dream though.

5. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

Bella isn’t the only character who gave up everything and everyone for the 100 year old man she loved. While this story is more prominent because of the movies that followed, there are too many stories where our main girl has tunnel vision because of a boy. Like, you know, women are actually really, really good at multitasking right?!? We can love someone (or many people!!), write a novel, slay a dragon and eat a cupcake ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Funnily enough, where it is a f/f relationship I don’t see this tunnel vision like I do when it’s m/f. Probably because after all of this time, men still think that they are the centre of our universe….even in novels.

6. From This Moment On

I have spoken about this before, but I remain bitter about the way so many “happily ever afters” are where the woman gets married and has children. Time are a-changing people! Women are realising more and more that this isn’t the way our lives have to go. We don’t have to wait at home with the child on our hip and a hot meal waiting for our husband anymore. So let’s stop doing this to our female characters (*side-eyes Suzanne Collins).

*****

That is all I can think of at the moment, but let me know if you think of anything else!! Do you agree/disagree with anything that I mentioned above? Let me know in the comments below!!!

Steff xx

Songs I’m Obsessed with RIGHT NOW.

Happy Friday Everyone!!

I hope you have all had a super week! Mine has been busy and stressful, and I am pretty much over it all at the moment. But you know what pulls me through? MUSIC.

Today I thought I would share some of my favourite songs at the moment. I don’t know if you guys have the same problem as me, but when I love a song I will listen to it over and over again until I am sick of it. I am trying REALLY HARD not to do that anymore….but I’m not really succeeding.

Anyhoo, here we go. A bit of a mixture!!

Shampain – Marina and the Diamonds

I really, really love this song. It has a bit of an 80’s vibe and it’s different from all of the other songs on the Family Jewels album.

Space Bootz – Miley Cyrus

If you listened to Miley’s Dead Petz album, you will know that it was…ah…interesting. It felt like everyone who worked on this was on one big acid trip and just pressed lots of buttons. One little gem amongst all of the weirdness was Space Bootz. It is up there with some of my favourite songs, because this has to be one of the most honest songs. It’s sad, and beautiful and it makes me cry.

Santigold feat. Shenseea – Don’t Blame Me

THIS. SONG. I absolutely LOVE Santigold. Every song of hers is different, and her voice changes from song to song. But holy crap for some reason, I am absolutely ADDICTED to this song at the moment. The vocals from Shenseea are just BEAUTIFUL.

Breathin’ – Ariana Grande

I relate to this song so much. I just love this song so much, and I honestly never thought I would love an Ariana song as much as I do this one.

Say Amen (Saturday Night) – Panic! At The Disco

I mean…like…Brendan Urie…

Anyhoo, that’s it for now. Do you like any of the above songs, or did you listen to any of the above songs because of this post? Let me know!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Steff xx

Get to Know Me: 100 Truths tag

Hello friends

So I’m slowly starting to post a bit more on my blog after months of zero motivation. It’s still not fully back but we’ll just see what happens. I was tagged by one of my favourites, Laura @ thebookcorps to do the 100 Truths Tag and it looked pretty fun! Please check out Laura’s blog, she does great posts and reviews, and I love talking to her because she is an awesome human being!!

1) What’s Your Name?

Steffani Jay

2) Any Nicknames or Alisases?

I get called Steff or Steffy by most people because I actually hate being called by my full name, it makes me feel like I am in trouble. Also, Steffy Jay is my stage name. I’m not a performer, it’s just what I would autograph if I was famous haha.

3) Your Gender?

Female

4) Your Star Sign

Pisces!!

5) How Old Are You?

32 – THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT

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6) Your Relationship Status?

Married for 10 years in January, and it’s our 15 year anniversary in November this year.

7) Any Children?

HELL. NO.

8) Any Pets?

I have 2 beagles (Melvin and Lucy), 3 kitties (Peanut, Poppy and Bluey) and a turtle (we just call him Turpin because it’s a mix between Turbo and Franklin).

9) Any Tattoos or Piercings?

I have my ears and nose pierced. I also have a half sleeve of the Heir of Fire cover on my right arm.

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10) What Do You Like About Yourself?

I’m a very honest person. Not in a “in your face” kind of way. But if I fuck up I will tell you. If I’m unhappy I will tell you (in a nice way) and if I love you I will tell you.

11) What Do You Dislike About Yourself?

My mental illness, I wish it would fuck off.

LASTS

13) The Last Thing You Drank?

Cawfee

14) The Last Thing You Ate?

Oats with milk and honey…mmmmm

15) Your Last Phone Call

My beautiful sister, just talking about life and how she really needs to get Netflix.

16) Your Last Text Message

Me messaging my husband about taking time off at Christmas. Boring.

17) Your Last Email

Ehhh I send emails all day at work so I couldn’t even tell you.

18) The Last Song You Listened To:

I am OBSESSED with Santigold’s new album and I absolutely love this song.

19) The Last Book You Read:

Ruin by John Gwynne (Book 3 in the Faithful and the Fallen series). I am loving this series so much!!!!

20) The Last Time You Cried

Last week when I found out someone I know passed away.

21) The Last Blog Post You Read

Laura’s 100 Truth’s Tag hahaha.

22) The Last Person You Spoke To:

My husband. I told him to have a nice day and he was like “naaah”.

23) The Last Place You Visited:

The Gold Coast to see one of my sisters.

24) Your Last Holiday Abroad

I went to Wisconsin and New York in December 2016/January 2017. It ended up being bitter sweet because the people we went with who were our best friends, decided to ghost us when we got back to Australia. So now when I look back on that trip I find it hard to feel happy, even though I met some amazing people and did some awesome things over there. Oh and I highly recommend cheese curds!!!

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YOUR BELIEFS AND OPINIONS

49) Do You Believe In Aliens

Of course I do!!! There is absolutely NO WAY we are the only ones in the universe.

50) Do You Believe In Miracles

I really, really don’t. I think things happen can happen that are unexplainable, but how do we know that it wasn’t already meant to happen?

51) Do You Believe In The Power Of Positive Thinking?

Umm no. I could be the most positive person in the world and still feel anxious and get depressed. I do think that positive thinking is contagious though, just like negative thinking.

52) Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?

Nope. To me, falling in love at first sight means that you fell in love with looks. It’s really like falling in love with a celebrity. You are loving them based on their exterior and most likely their persona they display for the media/fans etc.

53) Can Money Make You Happy?

As someone who grew up in a low income household, I would definitely say yes. I can think of a million times that it would have made me happier or just made life easier. That being said, having money doesn’t take all of your worries away.

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54) Would You Describe Yourself As A Feminist?

Yes!! Although I like to think of it more as “equalitist” (if that’s a word). Feminism is about raising ALL women up. It’s about equality for EVERYONE. It’s about supporting everyone and not tearing people down. It’s about progressing and ensuring that EVERYONE is treated the same and that certain groups aren’t treated differently.

55) Are You Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

PRO-CHOICE!!!!

56) Do You Have Strong Political Beliefs?

Hell yes I do. I very much consider myself left-wing and that doesn’t always go down with people who don’t have the same opinion as me…i.e. Donald Trump supporters. (Or if you are in Australia, Pauline Hanson supporters).

57) Do You Have Strong Religious Beliefs?

Nope. BUT I do like to think there is something out there. I believe in ghosts and the afterlife. I even believe in angels to an extent. But when it comes to the other stuff, well, I’ll just have to wait and see.

58) What Do You Think The Most Important Thing You Can Give A Child Is?

Unconditional love. Unfortunately this is something that wasn’t really provided by my family, either because I wasn’t born a boy, I didn’t live in the country or I wasn’t like my other family members. It’s amazing how much it has affected me and how ready I am for rejection or for someone to leave me.

RIGHT NOW

59) Are You Eating Anything Right Now?

Nope. I wish I was eating a doughnut or something though.

60) Are You Drinking Anything Right Now?

Just trying to keep hydrated with water…boring.

61) What Are You Listening To Right Now?

My brain which is usually thinking a thousand things at once

62) What Are You Thiking About Right Now?

Work, my upcoming surgery, my sisters, my cat, and that I really need to pee but don’t want to get up.

63) What Are You Waiting For Right Now?

I go for breast-reduction surgery on 29 October. I’m excited but so fucking nervous.

64) What Are You Most Excited About Right Now?

2 of my sisters are due to have babies in January. I can’t wait to meet my new little niece and/or nephew or both.

65) What’s Your Pet Peeve Right Now?

The state of Australian politics and how we can’t keep our Prime Ministers….because the people surrounding them are backstabbing idiots. Australia likes to be super critical of America, however we have refugees rotting away on an island and we refuse to let them into the country. We have a PM that doesn’t support teachers supporting trans-kids because they “don’t need gender whisperers” and “let kids be kids”. We have politicians who give zero fucks about the minorities in this country, and it breaks my heart.

66) What’s Your Favourite Thing Right Now?

My pets. Always.

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67) If You Weren’t Answering These Questions, What Would You Be Doing Right Now?

What most people who are reading this would be doing….reading 🙂

FIRSTS

68) Your First Best Friend:

Her name was Anna. We lost touch in highschool but then met up when she moved to Brissie. She is still as beautiful and lovely as ever.

74) Your First Job:

I worked at Red Rooster as a cashier. Some of my best times were working there, they really got me out of my shell.

75) Your First Childhood Memory:

I lived across the road from a football oval. There was a televised game on tv, so I kept running between the lounge room and the front room to look at the oval, so that I might be on tv.

WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE

76) Love or Money?

Love definitely. Because you need to have good people around you when you are broke as fuck.

77) Twitter or Facebook

Twitter!!! I deactivated my facebook a year ago because I got over all the bullshit on there. So much negativity, and too many life stories and attention-seeking for my liking.

78) Hook up or Relationship?

Relationship. When I was in highschool and I was at parties, my friends would be hooking up with people while I would be sitting on my own waiting for them to finish…not sad at all hahahaha.

79) Dogs or Cats?

Both. I absolutely LOVE animals, so couldn’t choose one over the other.

80) Coffee or Tea?

Coffee first thing in the morning. Tea for the rest of the day.

81) Beer or Wine?

Scottish whiskey haha.

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82) Sweet or Savoury?

Omg I LOVE sweets. It’s a problem.

83) Introvert or Extrovert?

Depends on the situation. I would get up and sing in front of people I don’t know and generally make myself look like a fool because I don’t really care too much what people think of me. However, I am shy and don’t like going to social events and would prefer being at home with my husband and pets. Get to know me and I won’t shut the fuck up. So I guess you could say I’m an ambivert, leaning more towards introvert.

84) Vampires or Werewolves?

Vampires for sure. I never liked werewolves, probably because they are always portrayed as bikies….which I have never really understood.

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85) Seaside or Countryside?

Countryside because I’m not a beach goer at all. I almost drowned at the beach when I was a kid, so I don’t like going in the water. The countryside is beautiful and peaceful, and there are usually cows. And I love cows.

86) Summer or Winter?

Ummm….I don’t really prefer either. Spring is really the best time because it’s a bit cool but a bit warm. Summer in Australia makes you want to rip your skin off from being so uncomfortable.

87) Books or Movies?

I love both!!! I am who I am because of movies, I was practically RAISED on them. So I think my sense of humour and my way of viewing the world comes alot from the various movies I watched.

88) Horror or Comedy?

I absolutely LOVE horror, even though it is really, really hard to find a good horror movie.

A FEW RANDOM QUESTIONS TO FINISH UP ON

89) Do You Wish You Could Change Your Past?

Not at all. Even when some of it was shit and fucked up, it made me who I am today.

90) What’s Your Dream Job?

Veterinary or cinematic make-up

91) What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?

Reading a book non-stop while eating doughnuts.

92) What Are You Afraid Of?

Humans. I generally keep away from shows about true crime because humans are capable of such horrible things, and I literally get nightmares from watching true crime.

93) What Was The First Thing You Wanted To Be When You Grew Up?

A teacher! I used to hang out in my bedroom all day and play schools with my teddies. I would draw up exams for them, answer them for each teddy and then mark them. Of course, I would give bad marks to my least favourite student haha.

94) If You Could Have Any Super Power, What Would It Be?

A shapeshifter, like Mystique on X-Men!!

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95) If You Could Change Anything About Your Life What Would It Be?

The only thing I would change would be to not have anxiety/depression. They rule my life, even while I am on medication, and I have lost friends/experiences because my life revolves around me being anxious about getting a panic attack and not having an escape option.

96) Would You Want Immortality?

Only if I was beautiful and stayed that way haha.

97) If You Could Interview Anyone Alive Or Dead Who Would You Choose?

I know she’s a character, but Jess of New Girl. I think we would be great friends because we are quite alike.

98) Would You Say You Are Happy?

Mental illness aside, yes I would say I am.

99) What One Piece Of Advice Would You Give To Yourself At Age Eighteen?

Be your wonderful, wierd self and don’t let people dictate how much of your personality you should show. Don’t try to please people because it will just end up making you unhappy. And eat as many doughnuts while you can.

100) Where Would You Like To Be In Five Years Time?

Omg I would be 37!!!!! I would hope to be the same as now. With my husband, chilling with my animals, reading books and talking shit on twitter.

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TAG

I’m not very good at tagging people, but if you want to do this one consider yourself tagged!!!!

Steff xx